The post Our First Miracle first appeared on OliverTheWorld.
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At this point in our travels, we have found our way to Florence, the central city of the province of Tuscany and the heart and soul of the Italian Renaissance. We have retraced our steps here again, nearly five years and eleven months following the birth of our first child, Oliver, whose fifth birthday, incidentally, was this past August (wink). For a person with six years of sobriety now, it is safe to say that I do not believe in coincidences, and the fact that Emy almost did not get on the plane from NYC to Milan due to my drinking is one of life’s little miracles.
Let’s turn back the clock to November 2006, as I believe you need to have a little background to truly appreciate how special today really was. Nearly six years ago, I was traveling on a business trip through Europe. Although I did not know it yet at the time, while I was still working in finance I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt and was dangerously close to striking my rock bottom which was several years in the making. I was in London and Paris before Emy had planned to meet me in Italy, and I was bingeing all day and night for the first few days of my trip. In Paris, I was so out of my mind on anti-anxiety medication and alcohol that I called Emy late one evening while riding in a cab in Paris and had her attempt to communicate in French (a language she did not speak) to the driver in order to help get me back to my hotel. The next morning, Emy told me that she no longer planned to meet me Italy and that our relationship was essentially off.
Through much coercion (I begged her, I swore to her I would not drink at all while we were on our trip together and I believe I even promised her a new leather bag just to make sure she got on the plane), Emy showed up in Milan a few days later and we took a train to Florence. Unfortunately, I did not keep my promise and I did continue to drink which led Emy to contact my sister, Rose, in California, whom she had never spoken to before. As I later learned, it was on the steps of Piazza Vecchio that Rose, Emy and my parents decided that, if there was to be any hope for my recovery, they needed to intervene and get me help.
Despite my antics and the fact that I was fifty pounds over-weight and had such a bloated face that it appeared as if I might be storing nuts for the winter, Emy and I miraculously managed to spend some ‘intimate’ time together and, as we found out later, this is where Ollie was conceived. Of course none of this was planned, and with my drinking and the tumultuous nature of our relationship, it appeared that we might have been doomed from the start. But all this was this was to change as in December 24th, 2006, a month after returning from Florence and before my knowledge of Emy’s pregnancy, God intervened, and I had my last drink or mind-altering substance of any kind.
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During our trip to Florence six years ago, we found a paninoteca that served little truffle sandwiches. Today, we found that same restaurant and enjoyed a lovely lunch with our two children. The entire time, Emy and I just smiled and quietly reflected on just how far we had come since we last found ourselves in that same location. Our marriage, our love and our commitment to each other has truly been a gift as there were many times that we could have just walked away.
After lunch, we walked along the Arno and found the hotel where we had stayed at six years ago. As we were standing in the nearby piazza, a peace and serenity overcame me, and the smiles on Ollie and Kendley’s faces filled me with a tremendous amount of gratitude. At one point, however, Oliver asked me to explain to him just how two people make a baby, and I believe that I finally told him “that Mommy and I gave each other a really strong high five”.
For me, today was a tangible reminder of the gifts that I have been given. While I no longer work in finance, stay in fancy hotels, make much money, or have a limitless expense account, I have been given something worth far more: the freedom and clarity of mind to live life on life’s terms. When I used to drink, I never had a choice, as the outcome was always the same. Today, I have a life beyond my wildest dreams as I am no longer a prisoner to alcohol and truly I have been given the gift of a second chance.
For me, traveling is not about the destination, but about the time we get to spend with each other. Florence is not about the Renaissance nor Michelangelo nor Brunelleschi. It is about a blond haired, blue-eyed little boy who skips when he walks; rarely if ever listens when you want him to; who has endless amounts of energy; whose presence can light up a room; and whose love fills our family with an endless amount of joy.
Ollie is the gift and the spirit of our entire family. He is the one who makes us go and who has brought us all together. Every time I look at an inspiring painting or an amazing dome or something society will immortalize forever, I always look at Emy and smile and I tell her “the true work of art is by our side.”
Ollie, thank you for being the gift that keeps on giving and for being the ‘happiest mistake’ that your Mother and I have ever made. Thank you for your spirit, your smile, your affection, and for just being you. You were our first miracle and you are the heart and soul of our family.
The post Our First Miracle first appeared on OliverTheWorld.
]]>The post A Day to Remember first appeared on OliverTheWorld.
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This is Ryan and I want to wish everyone a good evening from Siem Reap, Cambodia. We just finished dinner (I had Lok Lak, a delicious meat dish on top of a fried egg and Emily had Amok D‘trey, a river fish braised in coconut sauce. Emily is showering, Ollie is lying on a make-shift bed we put together for him on the floor (he keeps saying “kiss monkey good night”) and I am sitting at the computer trying to best describe what a wonderful day we had a few days back.
First, as Emily has so adeptly described in her past entries, we liked China, we really liked Vietnam, but we ABSOLUTELY LOVE CAMBODIA (unfortunately, we only have nine days to spend here, although we will most likely come back in the February time frame after we visit Laos). Also, for those hardcore travelers who have been told that you can not cross at the Ha Tien, Vietnam border, it is totally untrue. We took a ferry from Phu Quoc Island to Ha Tien, and with the help of Ha Tien Tours (and a police officer who rode a motorbike up to sign our Visas), we got our Cambodian stamp crossed at Prek Chak. In your face, Lonely Planet.
While we have had almost no rain this entire ten weeks through Asia (a minor miracle), it was pouring as we crossed over the border with a lovely couple from the UK. Our first destination in Cambodia was Kep, probably the best ‘kept’ secret on the trip so far. There are only 4,000 people living in this sleepy, French colonial beach town. Kep has some of the best seafood in Cambodia, the friendliest people we have met on our trip so far (if anyone is going to Kep, please find Mr. Phary, who is the best tuk tuk driver in town), and the most beautiful rice fields, Brahma cows and jungle-covered mountain terrain that we have ever seen.

For those of you who don’t know much about Cambodian history, I should probably interject a little here. From 1975 to 1979, a radical communism, conceived by Saloth Sar aka Pol Pot, spread over Cambodia and was known as the Khmer Rouge. In four years time, Pol Pot and his communist guerrillas had exterminated somewhere between one and three million Cambodians. Remember, there are only 11 million people living in Cambodia today and there were only seven million in the late ‘70s (do the math; 20% of the population was eliminated). Among those targeted were intellectuals, farmers, writers, teachers, and more. Anyone who spoke even a tiny bit of English or French were also singled out by the Khmer Rouge and everyone who managed to survive was forced into the countryside to work as slaves in the fields. After speaking to more people in Cambodia it has become clear that King Norodom Sihanouk (the former king of Cambodia), China, the United States and the Viet Cong played significant roles in the destruction as well.
The historical significance of these caves is that there were thousands of bodies here until a few years ago when they were finally given their proper burial. On the way down the hillside, there is a clearing where 20 to 30 skeletons lie in a simple stupa, as these people were not able to be identified. Almost everyone you come into contact with in Cambodia was profoundly affected by the genocide (one of the boys on our tour had his uncle killed by the Khmer Rouge and Mr. Phary lost both an aunt and uncle). While we had a wonderful time interacting with our guides, it was a sobering reminder of the atrocity that rang through Cambodia just 30 years ago.
The following day in Kampot was truly a day to remember. Emily and I decided to visit the ASPECA Orphanage just on the outskirts of town. To prepare, we bought some sundry items, put together some clothes of Ollie’s he had outgrown (he has shot up another couple of inches since we left the States) and bought some food, candy, etc. Upon arriving at ASPECA, we had no idea what to expect as Ben, the amicable owner of Mea Culpa (another outstanding guest house), called Mr. Souvanny, the director of the orphanage, just an hour earlier to let him know we were coming. ASPECA Orphanage shelters 65 children and has an out-reach program where it helps feed another 120 kids in the surrounding countryside. In Cambodia, the majority of orphanages do not receive any government funding and hence, the $95,000 per year it takes to keep the ASPECA orphanage up and running is donated primarily from private grants, most of them from foreigners.
After spending time with Mr. Souvanny and Seima, a brilliant English-speaking “graduate“ of the orphanage, Emily and I played volleyball with the kids, read books to them, played cards, and spent a lovely afternoon interacting with all of them. These kids clearly longed for somebody to hold onto as the majority of the youngsters would come up and hold my hand, put their arms around me, and were genuinely giving and seeking affection. The entire time we were there, Ollie ran around like a crazed monkey. He quickly became the official mascot and the kids took turns holding him, playing with him and chasing him around and teaching him the names of various animals in Khmer (kong kaip = frog, chhmao = cat, dum brrai = elephant).
At the end of the day, we commissioned Ben at Mea Culpa to fire up his wood-burning oven, and he delivered sixteen large cheese and pepperoni pizzas, enough for everyone to have two big slices. Not a single child at ASPECA had ever tasted pizza before, and Seima had only read about it in one of his English textbooks. Needless to say, the pies were devoured in minutes, and our pizza party was a resounding success. Savonney lined the kids up and they sang a few songs and Ollie did fancy feet for them (this is Ollie’s funky chicken dancing moves). Once the kids were allowed to eat, they stood in line (unlike the States, not one person pushed in front or tried to get a bigger piece) and everyone of them said thank you, put their hands together and bowed graciously. Their eyes lit up like stars and they kept saying “good, good.”
The gift that Emily and I were given will stay with us forever. For years I have been a person that has said, “I would love to start an orphanage, work with needy children or just do something worthwhile.” The reality is that I was a big talker and never made any definitive steps to make this dream a reality. For all of you that talk a big game like me, go find a place to sit with the elderly, play with kids at an orphanage, tutor a young child whose parents are in need. I can promise you that your heart will be filled with joy and all of the problems and ‘fear based reality’ that we succumb to will quickly fade away.
Emily and I have never seen more smiles, heard more genuine “thank you’s” and received more hugs and kisses than we did that day. While we did donate rice (250kg that can feed the orphanage for 10 days), a little money and a few other things to the orphanage, the real beneficiaries were Emily, Ollie and I. One of the tenants of my sobriety is that you have to give it away to keep it and for me, that message resonated at the orphanage. Emily, Ollie and I have been truly blessed and we are grateful for all that God has given us; but what we are realizing (much to the chagrin of our parents once they read this post, as we are already planning our next adventure which will be a year or more volunteer program at an orphanage) is that the world is as small or as large as you make it. Whether it is sobriety, love, kindness, serenity, or anything else meaningful, you really have to first give it away in order to keep it. Try it. I can promise you that Emily and I will never be the same.
To donate to the ASPECA orphanage in Cambodia, please visit their parent-organization’s site, Enfants d’Asie. They sponsor 10,000 children, orphans or children in desperate situations, in more than fifty centers across Cambodia, Laos, VietNam and the Philippines.
The post A Day to Remember first appeared on OliverTheWorld.
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